Communicating after a deployment

After being apart for months, you are finally reunited. This time of reuniting can be exciting, but it can also be stressful because it is a time to reconnect. With everything that has to be done, it can be hard to find time just for the two of you. One thing that many military couples struggle with in these times is good communication. Research shows that post-deployment is the time that most couples seek out help for problems in their relationships. Whether you are currently struggling in your relationship or you want to improve your communication skills as a couple, this webpage has a couple of exercises to improve good communication and help you increase your psychological flexibility.
If you want additional information about the idea and the research behind this module:


What is psychological flexibility?
Psychological flexibility is the core idea of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). It means that we are fully present in the moment, basing our behavior on what is best for that situation and in line with our values. In our daily life, we don't always act according to our values. While our relationship with our spouse is important to us, when we are stressed, we might be easily annoyed or angered.  Maybe our buttons are more easily pushed.  With these exercises you can learn to be more aware of what is going on in situations. This will allow you to respondmindfully.

 

Exercises:

It's time to improve our couple communication skills! Here are several exercises that you can choose from. Each exercise teaches a different aspect of psychological flexibility.
You can but you do not have to do all of the exercises. Choose the ones you like best :)
Exercise 1: Being present- Red Light

Partners say “red light” at different points throughout the day, which signals both partners to pause, take a breath, and take turns naming one thought, feeling, or sensory experience that they are aware of at that moment.

Exercise 2: Leaves on a stream


Partners use a sheet of paper, draw leaves on it, and write thoughts that they encountered during the exercise on the leaves while watching a YouTube video exercise.


Exercise 3: Fear monsters

Partners write down and/or draw their fears.


Exercise 4: Emotion surfing

This is a good way to manage strong emotions that can come upin a close relationship.


Exercise 5: Life cake

If you like to bake together, this exercise is for you!  Use the baking instructions to process and share more of yourself with your partner.

 

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