e-Hope

Exercise 4: Emotion Surfing

Emotion surfing is an exercise about acceptance. Acceptance means opening up and also making room for unwanted private experiences such as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, urges, images, impulses, and sensations. We do not fight them or run from them. We simply make room for them and allow them to flow freely through us and allow them to come and go as they choose in their own good time. This is useful when you find yourself avoiding certain experiences, thoughts, memories, or impulses.

Emotion surfing

When we are faced with intense emotions, we tend to act in ways that prolong the negative effects of those emotions. By suppressing the emotion, acting on an urge, or constantly thinking about it (ruminating) we stay at the top of the emotion wave. Instead, let's surf that emotion wave by accepting all parts of that emotion and we will see that we can not only tolerate distress, but we can also decrease that distress and the negative impact that it has over us. We will not try to control that emotion or change it, we will simply accept it.

Think of an intense emotion that you have been avoiding and talk through the following questions with your partner. What do you notice in your body right now? Describe the sensation out loud. What feelings go with that? What are your thoughts? Can you notice them and let them go? Where are you on the wave, at the top (very emotionally distressed) or somewhere else within the wave? How strong is the emotion on a scale of 0-10? Do you have any urges? What does that emotion make you want to do? See if you can notice the urge without acting on it. Now think of and name the physical sensations you feel. Go through this process a few more times or as many times as you find it helpful.